becoming enlightened by the dalai lama

it took me forever to get through this book.
and i although i absorbed some of the text, i certainly don't feel that i walked
away enlightened.

and i have questions about enlightenment, and different thoughts about it.
we make it sound like it's a place to reach, the ultimate goal - when in fact, being here, now, is all we have and all we should focus on. maybe.

the mind of clover: essays in zen buddhist ethics by robert aitken

this is my book list for the precepts course that i'm taking - it's deep, detailed, and really tough to describe, so here:

"...In The Mind of Clover he addresses the world beyond the zazen cushions, illuminating issues of appropriate personal and social action through an exploration of the philosophical complexities of Zen ethics."

as you can see, just your average saturday night read.

Ah Christmas. With all of its imperfections. I as an adult (ick) rarely ponder the many teens out in the world who are having less than magical holidays - unless they are homeless or truly hurting (I ponder those). Dash and Lily's Book of Dares was a pretty decent read. Dash is having a bit of a loner Christmas, having convinced each parent that he is staying with the other. Lily's family is away for the holidays and hers is a usually idyllic holiday experience. Her brother, sensing she needs some excitement, puts a red notebook in The Strand in New York next to Franny and Zooey, her favorite book, with the beginning of a sort of scavenger hunt where lily and dash trade back and forth the notebook, going all over New York and writing in it to each other without meeting. I loved the concept. And I loved that the two authors each wrote one character's paragraphs. But one of the authors was just better than the other. And then when the characters finally met it was disappointing. It ended fairly satisfactorily, but the one character was just weak to me.

So, my coworker who loves sci-fi or "speculative fiction" as he calls it recommended this book to me. It was a lot of fun. There was even social commentary! A woman who's mother had been shunned from her people for falling in love with a man from another kingdom is summoned to the castle to her grandfather who is the king of all of the kingdoms. She is then named as a potential heir to his throne and thus put into a competition so fearsome only one can survive. Luckily she is helped by the gods held prisoner in the castle. And okay she falls for the darkest god (naturally, who wouldn't!). Anyway, I gave it to my sister when I was finished because I was really entertained by it. I like the whole magical world storytelling thing. I always sort of thought the place for that was in the children's section, but why limit your imagination stretchers to an age. The thing I most admire about children is their wide open wonderment and the holy unreality of play. I like that I can read books that tap into that without always starring children. Not that I am switching genres or anything, but props to Mike for making me expand. Also, this book was written by a youngish african american woman which is really rare for the genre.

The Good Daughters by Joyce Maynard

Just Kids by Patti Smith

at the heart and soul, a love story. patti's writing is raw and open, and the stories she weaves of her life with robert, and her life in that time period affected me tremendously. living in those times, when the hotel chelsea was home to so many talented people, who at that time were all just friends hanging out, making music and art and love and all that jazz.

i heart this book, and i heart patti smith.

ayahuasca in my blood by peter gorman

i don't know how to start writing about this. i loved this book - i loved most of this book, i should say. his experiences with aya, over a twenty-five year period, were inspiring and deep, and give me insight and lessens my fear for my own experiences.

i couldn't put it down. two thumbs up.

Range of Motion by Elizabeth Berg

This was one of the books that you gave me - it is full of love. The novel is narrated by a woman whose husband is in a coma - her journey,devotion, hope and belief that her husband is going to recover is heartbreaking and inspiring. A tale of love, and hope.

The Yoga-Sutra of Patanjali: Chip Hartranft

Beautiful. I'll keep returning to the Sutras throughout my lifetime. Chips translation and exploration of Patanjali's ideas are full of grace. A recommendation for any yogi, or human being.

living with the devil by stephen batchelor

I had to read Living with the Devil: A Meditation on Good and Evil by Stephen Batchelor the Precepts Course that I'm taking. It took me some time to get into the book - it was very wordy and difficult to read, and so I found myself re-reading and re-reading until the information would begin to sink in. From the blurb:

"Living with the Devil tells a poetic and provocative tale about living with life's contradictions that will challenge you to live your life as an existence imbued with purpose, freedom, and compassion - rather than habitual self-interest and fear."

i am glad that you read ;)

i have just finished after the falls: coming of age in the sixties by catherine gildiner and i loved it - it's her follow to too close to the falls, which was the story of her childhood. gildiner writes openly and honestly, and it feels as if she's sharing her heart with the world. her sense of humor, her way of sharing, especially through tragedy is courageous and full of love.

So, I'll start with Maze Runner. A boy is dropped into a community of boys living within the center walls of a maze. The walls close at night and if anyone is left outside they will most likely be killed by creatures. Everyone has a role in the society, including maze runners. These are the boys that run through the maze, mapping and endlessly trying to find a way out. They have been living like this for years. After the boy is dropped a girl is dropped the next day, the only girl. The pattern has been altered. The supplies are stopped and the rules of the game are changed. Now they must find their way out of the maze or perish.

Moving on to the Scorch Trials. Ok ok I'll tell you, some of the boys and the girl made it out of the maze in the last book. They think they are safe but it turns out the people in control of the experiment they were in are trying to weed out the weaker ones. There begins a new trial! A desert, zombie like people who have some kind of infection, a rival gang of girl survivors, etc. etc. And our hero loses faith in what he loved most, and starts to realize that for some reason he is different from the others.
Not earth shattering, some problems in storyline riddled throughout but on the whole, pretty good. And I will be reading the third of what I hope is only a trilogy when it is published.

Next was a toughie. I spent at least two weeks reading Cloud Atlas. And I could write a paper on it. In fact, it was the type of book that begged for discussion. The book consists of six nested stories that range from the remote South Pacific in the nineteenth century to a distant, post-apocalyptic future. Each tale is revealed to be a story that is read (or watched) by the main character in the next. All stories but the last one get interrupted at some moment, and after "Sloosha's Crossin' an' Ev'rythin' After" concludes at the center of the book, the novel goes back in time, closing each story as the book progresses in terms of pages but regresses in terms of the historical period in which the action takes place. Eventually, readers end where they started, with Adam Ewing in the Pacific Ocean, circa 1850. So, each story written was a different genre. The first one reminiscent of say, Herman Melville, one read like a murder mystery, one like a sci-fi novel, one like some sort of philip k. dick post apocalyptic tale. The ease with which Mitchell switched from genre to genre was amazing. He changed perspective impeccably. The narrative was always different and always believable. I thought the writing was incredible. The problem with the book for me was that I don't like all of those genres - so while some flew by for me, others dragged along making me wish they would just end for the love of god. Also, at times it was a bit confusing working out how each story fit into the other, but once you figure out which one is the last one, everything falls into place. A slow at times but worthwhile read. Kinda a masterpiece in genre. And wholly unique.

Next I read Winters Bone by Woodrell. This was an excellent book. Extremely well-written and well-paced. If you ignore the comments on the cover about it being a thriller and a roller-coaster ride, you will be better served though - that description is not accurate. Anyhoo, the main character of the book is a girl, Ree, 15 or 16ish, who lives in the Ozarks and has been sort of shoved into the role of the caretaker. Her mom kinda lost her mind and just drifts and her daddy is a meth maker out on bail. The only thing is, he has disappeared. And the sheriff comes to tell Ree that her father put their house and property up as collateral for his bail. If he can't be found, then the family will have nowhere to go. In the surrounding countryside live all kinds of relatives of Ree, both close and distant, and as she starts to look for her daddy, she encounters hostility and silence and secrets. Great story. And what a fascinating character, so fierce even in uncertainty. She is one of the best heroines I have ever read. I loved this book. (But don't ever watch the movie, it sucks).

Next I read Let the Right One In. Weird genre. I was expecting horror and didn't get that but it was at times chilling. I don't know if I just went into it with the wrong expectations but it was a weird combination of a coming of age story, a murder mystery, a weird middle age men friendship thing, and a vampire tale. It was solid though and it slowly built up to scary but then kind of let you off. I liked it. I liked the boy who was bullied - his character was great. But some of the rest of the story lines and characters I wasn't so into. So a solid good read.

And then I read I Am Number Four. I enjoyed this a lot until the end, there were some battle scenes that were written in a confusing manner - didn't really paint the picture. There is a boy, who has a father figure care taker, but they are really aliens who came to earth when their planet was attacked in order to save their race but also to save earth from being attacked by the same baddies that destroyed their planet. There are nine children w/caretakers hidden around the world, constantly moving to escape detection from the bad guy aliens. If the bad guy aliens want to kill them they have to do it in the order of the number each child was assigned. When one of them dies, a circle is scarred around their ankle. Three have died and the main character is number four. It sounds ridiculous when I try to explain it but I enjoyed it. Looking forward to further books in what I am certain will be some sort of series. Why are there so many fewer stand alone books these days. Everything has to be some sort of Harry Potter.

Yay, I'm caught up!

And so begins a dedicated effort to catch up after a bit of indecisive book choosing and then some writing lag.
I guess it all started with Mockingjay. This is the third of a trilogy that I loved. I won't go into it too much because you may one day decide to read these books. They are addictive and speak a lot to society and governing bodies and corruption and corrupted symbols. This one was my least favorite but it did not take away from my high opinion of the trilogy. I wrote about Hunger Games and Catching Fire in previous posts. So I will just leave this one at that.

Oh My God! You must think I don't read! And I do! I have gotten so behind that I am overly postponing doing it. Also, I started and stopped many books in between. I will catch up soon, I promise. Love you.

The Inner Tradition of Yoga by Michael Stone

"There is more to the tradition of yoga than toning, and strengthening. At the root, there is a vast and intriguing philosophy that teaches the ethics of nonviolence, patience, honesty and respect. Michael Stone provides an in-depth explanation of ancient Indian yogic philosophy along with teachings on how to bring our understanding of yoga theory to deeper levels through our practice on the mat - and through relationships with others."

Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-term Fulfillment by Geroge Leonard

i had to read this little book for my yoga program, and i'm so glad that it was on the syllabus. here is the blurb, which does the best way of describing the book (can you tell i'm zonked?)

"Drawing on Zen philosophy and his expertise in the martial arts of aikido, bestselling author George Leonard shows how the process of mastery can help us attain a higher level of excellence and a deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in our daily lives. Whether you're seeking to improve your career or your intimate relationships, increase self-esteem or create harmony within yourself, this inspiring prescriptive guide will help you master anything you choose and achieve success in all areas of your life."

i do recommend this book.

Let's Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell

i loved and treasured every word - each story shared i wished was my own.
i haven't known, for a long time now, if i have ever known, how deep and rooted a friendship can be. i don't know that i have ever been so involved, as these two brilliant, amazing writers and women, in each other's lives, each and every day.

i cried, my heart swelled, and i laughed - the sacred nature of their relationship touched my soul, and i found myself yearning for some of what these women had.

the loss is something i can identify with, and i thought that caldwell had beautiful way of sharing her thoughts, and her grief.

you must read this. in fact, i think i need to read it again.

Freedom by Jonathan Frazen

Frazen's latest novel, Freedom, had me completely engrossed. His characters are a combination of compelling, depressing and flawed - and so touchingly human. I've read a few reviews of people hating the book, and would agree that the first few pages were a little tough to get through.

I didn't like all of the characters, all of the time, but I found their mistakes and in some ways, their redemption, encouraging. Plenty of mistakes and joys, plenty of people living their life imperfectly perfect.

None of this tells you, of course, what the book is about.
That's because I think you should read it.

The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho

The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho was a huge disappointment to me, and it was a struggle to get through it. Tempted to put it down at several points during my reading of it, and I kept slugging through, hoping it would come together for me, hoping that I would feel the Coelho magic that his other novels are touched with.

Alas, for me, reading this was a waste of time.

From the back:

"In The Winner Stands Alone, Paulo Coelho has returned to the important themes of Eleven Minutes and The Zahir: love and obsession. He offers a suspenseful novel about the fascinating worlds of fortune and celebrity, where the commitment to luxury and success at any cost often prevents one from hearing what the heart actually desires.

Coelho takes us to the Cannes Film Festival, where the so-called Superclass gathers - those who have made it in the dreammaker's worlds of fashion and cinema. Some of them have even reached the very top and are afraid to lose their lofty positions. Money, power, and fame are at stake - things for which most people are prepared to do anything to keep.

At this modern vanity fair we meet Igor, a Russian millionaire; Middle Easter fashion czar Hamid, American actress Gabriela, eager to land a lead role; ambitious detective Savoy, hoping to resolve the case of his life; and Jasmine, a woman on the brink of a successful modeling career.

Who will succeed in identifying his or her own personal dream among the many prefabricated ones - and succeed in making it come true?"

The writing was disjointed, with very robotic and contrived descriptions of the celebrity lifestyle. Perhaps this was done purposefully to convey his distaste, or maybe this was his way of struggling with his own celebrity. Coelho, I felt, detached himself from his story, and I didn't feel him come in until near the very end.

I turn to Coelho's writing for inspiration, for connection, for the magical world that has the hand of some greater spirit involved. This novel was, in my eyes, the complete opposite of everything he writes about, and even believes in, and his unfamiliarity, or inexperience, with the topic was felt by me.

Thumbs down.

My First New York: a love letter to the city we love

My First New York: Early Adventures in the Big City was a birthday gift from a friend of mine. It's a cute little book with cute little anecdotes of early New York memories from various actors, artists, athletes, chefs, comedians, filmmakers, mayors, models, moguls, porn stars, rockers, writers and others.

If you see it in a waiting room, or at a country inn, definitely pick it up, as it's a lovely two hour read in memories, and will definitely bring up your own first experiences in the big apple.

Cherry by Mary Karr

Ok. Just read all three. Start with The Liar's Club, then Cherry, then Lit.
A.m.a.z.i.n.g.

I don't even know how to start reviewing Cherry - Karr's style of storytelling is majestic - although some of what she shares of her life is difficult to comprehend, she makes it so compelling, and easy to read. Cherry is the sequel to The Liar's Club, and deals with her teens, and her sexual coming of age.

She is raw, open, and makes the darkest thing searingly funny.

Drama City

First off, you are making me want to read Karr's bios. We are just out of them right now although I think I can find a galley for Lit if I wade into the piles upstairs. So that's that.
On to what I am reading, and believe you me I am reading many books. I read 250 pages of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell without getting into it. I am going to finish that book, for the love of god, but it is um around 700 pages and I don't like it yet! Then I started Let the Great World Spin. Got to page 86 and was just starting to get into it when the book club loomed two days away and I decided to try to read the book Reservation Blues by Sherman Alexie. So I got about 50 pages in and decided it was just not going to happen. Really not in the mood for that right now. Although I am sure it is a good read. The next day, a coworker gave me Drama City by George Pelecanos (who, among other things, was a writer for the tv show The Wire). This is the one I have actually finished. Great, atmospheric, flawed characters you really care about, vivid, hard boiled and moving. I loved it. A truly great read. The book divides its attention between two characters: a parolee who works as a
sort of an animal saver for the Humane Society (drives around answering calls and checking on the welfare of pets), and his parole officer, who herself is flawed. The two of them live their lives for us until random neighborhood violence draws them both to turning points. Really good.
Now, I am trying to decide between three books: finish Let the Great World Spin which I know will be fantastic, read A.J. Liebling's Between Meals: An Appetite for Paris (I know I am going to love this), or reread Hunger Games and then Catching Fire so that the third book in the trilogy (which just came out today!) will be fully prepared for. Argh!!!

The Liars' Club by Mary Karr

I am on a Mary Karr roll. I loved Lit, as previously noted in an earlier entry, and so I thought I'd track back and start with her first memoir, The Liars' Club.

So good. Sad. Tragic. Hilarious. Dark. Gritty. Painful. Amazing.

A must if you love memoirs as I do.
A must anyway.

SO a few months ago I read a young children's book called The Penderwicks and loved it. I finally got my hands on the sequel The Penderwicks on Gardam Street. It was good, but not as good. The four sisters were back home from their summer adventure and heading back to school. Their aunt comes for a visit and brings a letter that their mother had written to their father right before she died, telling him that he must date and must move on. So the aunt makes a deal with their father who does not want to date that he will go on three dates, and if none of them work out he can stop full stop. So of course the girls try to set him up with the worst possible women and of course he ends up with the woman neighbor that all of the girls adore. I liked it a lot but wasn't as enthralled as I was with the first one.
I love you pooky.

I read the Red Pyramid a few weeks ago. It is the first of a new series of books for Harry Potter age kids by the author of the Percy Jackson series. The story involves Egyptian mythology mixing with modern society. Sort of like the PJ books, its main characters are two young protagonists (brother and sister) with previously unsuspected magical powers. And thus they begin a glorious adventure. The background is complex and rooted in ancient mythology, and there is wry, witty twenty-first-century narration. The perspective shifts between the brother and the sister, who were raised separately and haven't really known each other, and is often mixed in with comments from the other sibling, as they are really telling the story to the reader together. As a lover of all things Egypt, I was predisposed to like this book. But I imagine no one would be too disappointed with it.

You must read this book!

I loved this book. It is in fact the first book I have read in a really long time that sang. It moved me, I cannot recommend it enough. It has become one of my top 30 books. I can't tell you how satisfying it was to finally read something that didn't disappoint me a little bit. The premise is wrapped around 9/11 - which is historically a tough event for fiction. The main character is a child who's father died in the towers - this is not giving anything away - it begins after this happened. But his father used to send him on scavenger hunts - and he finds something after the death that leads him on a scavenger type hunt throughout new york city. There is so much more, and it is heart wrenching. I cried a lot. I could have cried the whole read through. The references to heavy boots are a poignant example throughout the novel. There are also photographs in the book that are amazing - not in quality but in content. And letters and words. The final sequence of photographs is one of the most powerful endings to a book I have ever found. I know I am probably over effusing but I would really like you to read this.

lit by mary karr

I am addicted to memoirs - I don't know if you knew that - and I love, love, memoirs that center around two main themes - death and addiction. Lit by Mary Karr is "about getting drunk and getting sober; becoming a mother by letting go of a mother; learning to write by learning to live. Written with Karr's relentless honestly, unflinching self-scrutiny, and irreverent, lacerating humor, it is a truly electrifying story of how to grow up - as only Mary Karr can tell it."

This was so well written - her words, her thoughts are so fluid and crisp - I felt like I was watching a movie in my mind as my eyes consumed her words. Honest and open doesn't even begin to touch on the heart and soul that Karr bares to us in this novel.

I highly recommend this read.

the girl who kicked the hornet's nest by stieg larsson

the third in the trilogy. brilliant.

Witches and shapeshifters and teenagers oh my

I am trying desperately to read Young Adult books along with all of the other things I want to read, just so I will have some knowledge of what to recommend young readers. Sometimes there are great books, like the Book Thief, and other times there are just entertaining reads like Hex Hall. The idea is a school for magical kids who have used their powers in ways that could call attention to the society of magical people to its detriment. So kind of a reform school for the magically endowed teens. The main character is a witch. At her last school she tried to help out an awkward female classmate by casting a love spell and it went disastrously wrong. Now she is at Hex Hall - her roommate is the only Vampire allowed in the school, and someone is killing witches! Plus she has a crush on a guy with a girlfriend and is being illegally tutored by the ghost of a dead relative at night in the graveyard nearby! If it sounds ridiculous, it is. But it was also escapist and harmless and entertaining. And I like the idea of a reform school with magical kids in it. Kinda genius :). Anyway, sounds like it is the first in a series and I'll definitely hang around for future adventures.

The Girl

So, you know I love mysteries. And you know I love my Scandinavian mystery writers. Most of the time I am one of a smallish group of devoted readers but with this particular series, I am part of the fanship of a blockbuster bestselling series. I read the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo a couple of years ago. It was the first in a series of three, written by a Swede (Steig Larsson) who died before the books were published. When I got back from Bali in June, I quickly tore through the remaining two; The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Great series, love the characters - especially Lisbeth Salander, who Larsson is said to have modeled after his idea of a grown up Pippi Longstocking. They are dark, and violent and filled with conspiracy and intrigue and government involvement. Apparently Larsson drew a lot from his own life. He was the editor of a leftist magazine much like his main character Mikael Blomkvist, and he purportedly felt his life was in danger because of his political activism. Anyhoo, terrific reads. Kinda like watching an exciting movie (which actually they have made the Swedish movies and are going to remake into American movies which probably will suck - I like the first Scandinavian one and need to see the others). I could go into plot but basically the books revolve around the relationship of a troubled yet highly skilled computer hacker and a determined and highly skilled investigative reporter. He's in danger, she's in danger, the government wants to kill them, she kicks a lot of ass. Highly satisfactory and more literary than your normal bestselling mysteries. I approve.
I forgot you read two of these thus wrote review like you hadn't. Oops!

Veronika Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho

Coelho is a brilliant writer. He never fails to touch me deeply with his work; I feel magic in his words and stories, and he makes me believe that everything I believe exists, the things that many don't see or can't see. He makes me believe that everything my heart desires is possible, and that I am other-worldly. I am grateful for his prose, and continue to feel inspired by his work.

This story is about twenty-four year old Veronika, who one day decides that she wants to die. She fails at this attempt, however, and wakes up in a mental hospital. It is beautiful and well worth a read.

Zeitoun by Dave Eggers

I love this tragic, beautiful story. Eggers is a rare gem - I love when I read books that I fall in love with, and find out the author is worthy my love. I love that he stands behind his story, his words, the Zeitoun's, and that he is not only about words. He is about action, and I admire that deeply.

You read this, so I don't have to say anymore about it.

A Short History of Women by Kate Walbert

I had a difficult time following the story, and think for that reason it didn't impact me the way I thought it might. Here is the blurb from the back:

"A profoundly moving portrait of the complicated legacies of mothers and daughters. A Short History of Women chronicles five generations of women from the close of the nineteenth century through the early years of the twenty-first. Beginning in 1914 at the deathbed of Dorothy Trevor Townsend, a suffragette who starves herself for the cause, the novel traces the echoes of her choice in the stories of her descendants - a brilliant daughter who tries toe scape the burden of her mother's infamy; a great-granddaughter who wryly articulates the free-floating anxiety post-9/11 Manhattan. In a kaleidoscope of characters and with a richness of imagery, emotion and wit, A Short History of Women is a thought-provoking and vividly original narrative that crisscrosses a century - a book for "any woman who has ever struggled to find her own voice; to make sense of being a mother, wife, daughter and lover"(Associated Press)."

Losing Mum and Pup by Christopher Buckley

I thought this story was about how the author coped with losing his parents roughly a year a part, and became an orphan at age 55. On my reading list for a long time, I was looking forward to diving into his story. And sadly, I found this to be a most disappointing read.

If you are a fan of Chris Buckley (and know who his is), and if you were a fan of his parents (and how well known they were), you might enjoy this somewhat egotistical story, complete with consistent name-dropping and political tales. If not, I would recommend skipping it.

I am sorry for the author's two losses - I can't imagine the pain and sorrow that comes with losing both parents in such a short time period, at any age. But this story is not a story about becoming an orphan, and it is not a story about death and loss and grieving. It is a man in mourning, who has recorded "the story" of his family, and of their illnesses, so that he doesn't forget it. Rarely, if at all, does the author actually expose himself and his feelings - the story is so full of names that there isn't any room for his emotions.

Brida by Paul Coelho

There is a quote from the New York Times on the back of the book that stay "Coelho is a novelist who writes in a universal language"...it couldn't be more true. In this story, he tells the story of Brida, a young Irish girl, who has always believed in magic, and her search leads her to two people of great wisdom. She is searching for her destiny, as we all are to some extent, and this follows her through love and self-doubt, as well of passion, and spirituality.

I love lately that the books I am drawn to are somewhat magical, or spirit searching, as these themes represent where I am right now - through stories such as Brida's, I feel encouraged and inspired and sane.

This is a beautiful novel.

Breath by Tim Winton

A very quick read - I literally couldn't put it down - I dove into Breath, and didn't want to surface until the very last page. The blurb on the back of the book gives us no idea what we're in for - and is so vague and non-descript that I probably wouldn't have looked at it twice had it not been lent to me.

Bruce Pike in current day is a paramedic - we follow him to a call, that finds a young man dead due to asphyxiation. Pike gently holds the hand of the grieving mother, knowing what happened, even though she tried to erase the evidence. He knows the truth, and he takes us back - far back - to the start of his story.

It's a beautiful story - a sad story - but a beautiful tragedy. Surfing, idols, young love, sexual discoveries, friendships, loneliness, adventure - a complicated youth that grows into a complicated adult. We witness Pike's childhood, and the surprises and disappoints that come with it.

A very good read. And now I want to learn how to surf.

The Magicians by Lev Grossman

From the first chapter, I was completely absorbed. I felt like I had fallen through a crack into an undiscovered and beautiful land - Grossman took me to this magical place, just as C.S. Lewis had with the Chronicles of Narnia, and J.K. Rowling had with Harry Potter - to my immense delight, I was completely transported by the magical words on the magical page.

This feeling carried me through a good first part of the book, and I happily followed our hero, Quentin, and his bizarre mix of friends, through their magical training, and intricate workings of friendships and relationships. But unlike Lewis or Rowling, who gave us time and space with our characters, and whom we watched grow and adventure over many novels, Grossman gives us Book I through IV in one novel - and rapidly, too fast almost, we see our young protagonist grow into a complicated, miserable adult. It's a strange progression, and at times I felt like there was just too much happening. I wanted it to slow down - I wanted to see the characters develop slowly, gently - and of course, I wanted, at the end of this novel, to feel magical. Instead I felt sad.

Perhaps the disappointments and sadness are much closer to real life - and what really happens...but I, for one, believe in the magical goodness that exists, even if we can't see it all of the time.

A great escape, but it gets heavy and dark...that said, I am looking forward the sequel, due out in 2011.

Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth

Another dive into the spirit, and our connection with ourselves.

Our relationship with food, and the way we eat, mirrors our feelings about love, anger, fear, meaning and God. I felt in many places that one could substitute food with any addiction - be it alcohol, drugs, or sex. The way we eat, when we eat, how we eat, what we eat, how we live with food in our lives, all say something about how we feel about ourselves.

Roth shares many stories from the workshops that she runs - all in all, I found many stories I could relate to, from my earlier years on earth - my struggles with accepting myself, or feeling accepted by others - my need to please others - I felt I could rewind my life film, and see how I acted about my insecurities through how I chose to eat.

When we learn the root cause of our behaviors, when we learn to express our feelings and what is happening for us emotionally, and when we learn to accept ourselves and these feelings, this gets us to the core of why we do what we do.

If you are on a journey into your spirit, I recommend you add this to your reading list.

The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

Wow.

"But there is really no reason to suffer. The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason to suffer you will not find. The same is true for happiness. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.

Maybe we cannot escape from the destiny of the human, but we have a choice: to suffer our destiny or to enjoy our destiny. To suffer, or to love and be happy. To live in hell, or to live in heaven. My choice is heaven. What is yours?"

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

breaking open the head by daniel pinchbeck

This book was recommended to me by a client of mine, after I told her about the adventure in Peru that I was about to go on. In "Breaking Open the Head", Pinchbeck delves into various psychedelics, both exploring them through great thinkers and seekers such as Allen Ginsberg, Antonin Artaud, Walter Benjamin and Terence McKenna, as well as his own personal explorations into other dimensions made available through these medicinal plants and drugs.

Psychedelics are feared in North America - we are closed to the idea that any healing can take place through any alternative means, such as ayahuascha and iboga, which are used in tribal cultures around the world because of their visionary compounds.

Pinchbeck explores worlds through the use of the two medicinal plants mentioned above, but also of mushrooms, and a variety of other compounds. What opened up to him was worlds he didn't know existed, and he makes valid arguments about the validity and existence of these other worlds.

My own adventure with ayahuascha changed my life - it made available to be healing that I didn't know was possible, and that I have spent many years striving for. Aya showed me how important love is, both of self and of life, it made forgiveness a priority and brought clarity to my spirit. Each person's experience with the medicine is different, and the experience changes each time you use it, but I am grateful to have found the beauty of the healing vines.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book, and suggest you give yourself the time and space you need to read it, because it's a lot to absorb.

Vacation reads

so, i read a lot when away. lots of beach reading. but good things. i first dove into a bit of nonfiction with The Best American Crime Reporting 2009, started it when i was in the hospital the day before we left, yep that's right, the hospital. i had to go to bali against the advice of two separate doctors! and i was fine. i just have to have a tiny little surgery at some point in the next week or so. i really liked this book a lot. "Thieves, liars, and killers--it's a criminal world out there, and someone has to write about it. A thrilling collection of the year's best reportage by the aces of the true-crime genre brings together the mysteries and missteps of an eclectic and unforgettable set of criminals. Gripping, suspenseful, and brilliant." I especially liked the one about crime migrating from cities to suburbs due to a nation wide experiment demolishing public-housing projects. Quite a smart read.

Then I read another Kurt Wallander mystery by Henning Mankell called The White Lioness. I know I know, another one but this was my favorite. It switched course partway through and all of a sudden the original case he was pursuing became something else entirely. Also, this is the first time the author included sections from the perspective of different characters mixed in with Wallander's. It was great. Totally gripping and interesting stuff mixed in about apartheid south africa. I wish you liked mysteries.


Next I spent one night reading a kid's book called The Penderwicks. I am in love with this book. It reminds me of all of my favorite kid's books from when I was a kid. Kinda old fashioned but not at all. Story of four sisters and their dad spending a month of vacation in the cottage of a mansion where a
mean lady and a lonely boy live. There's a rakish boy gardener and plenty of adventures. You should read this. It is lovely and simple.



The last book I read, The Black Path by Asa Larsson, was actually the third of a series that the author says she means to be 6 books when completed. I didn't realize this when I chose it or I might have started with the first one, but it reads well on its own. It starts with a woman prosecutor who has been released from a mental institute because the last case she had became so extremely traumatic that she snapped. She moves back to her home town and starts working in a local office. There is a terrible murder there and the local cops get her to help them out on the case. The interesting thing about the author's writing style is the history she goes into with so many of the characters. At one moment you are in the investigation, the next you are reading about how the one character's sister grew up. It all becomes relevant and ties together neatly at the end, but is definitely playing with genre lines. Anyway, I really liked it and now really want to read the first two.

corked by kathryn borel

The tale of a father and daughter - and a trip to France to taste wine. I thought this a very appropriate read as lately I had been struggling with my relationship with my father, and trying to connect with him on another level.

Kathryn Borel and her father, Philippe, have a somewhat complicated relationship - it is her hope, that through learning about his passion, wine, that she might find a way to get closer to him. There were many times in this book that I felt connected with the author and her struggles with her relationship with her father, herself, and her ex-boyfriend. Other times, I admittedly skim-read - I'm not sure if this was because of my short attention span in the jungle, or if the writing was really not that riveting. I'm undecided.

In the end, it is somewhat enlightening and comforting to know that I am not the only that has struggled with my father-daughter relationship.