yoga bitch by suzanne morrison

i picked this up, on a whim, at the airport before boarding one of three flights i was taking to italy. embarrassed, a little, because i haven't read anything so girly in quite a long time - this past year has been all about yoga, and yoga and yoga - much heavier, grown up, serious reading - so this was my popcorn. and it was a great book. well-written, funny, a little cliche in some parts - but it met my expectations and i was glad to have this book as company. "When Suzanne Morrison decides to travel to Bali for a two-month yoga retreat, she wants nothing more than to be transformed from a twenty-five year-old with a crippling fear of death into her enchanting yoga teacher, Indra - a woman who seems to have found it all: love, self, and God. But things don't go quite as expected. Once in Bali, she finds that her beloved yoga teacher and all of her yogamates wake up every morning to drink a large, steaming mug...of their own urine. Sugar is a mortal sin. Spirits inhabit kitchen appliances. And the more she tries to find her higher self, the more she faces her cynical, egomaniacal, cigarette-, wine-, and chocolate-craving lower self." it's funny. chicklit at it's best.

when the heart waits by sue monk kidd

so, for the past several months i feel as i have been dancing around myself, and some big questions keep arising - more than why are we here, what is our purpose - they go deeper then that. i was reading an article on elephant journal and came across a quote from sue monk kidd's book, when the heart waits: spiritual direction for life's sacred questions, and i ordered the book as soon as i could. finally, i thought, someone else had experienced something in the realm of what i feel i am going through - a crisis of spirit. here is the description of the book: "Blending her own experiences with an intimate grasp of contemplative spirituality, Sue Monk Kidd relates the passionate and moving tale of her spiritual crisis at midlife, when life seemed to have lost meaning and how her longing for hasty escape from the pain yielded to a discipline of “active waiting.” Comparing her experience to the formative processes inside a chrysalis on a wintry tree branch, Kidd reflects on the fact that the soul is often symbolized as a butterfly. The simple cocoon, a living parable of waiting, becomes an icon of hope for the transformation that the author sought. Kidd charts her re-ascent from the depths and offers a new understanding of the passage away from the false self, which is based upon others’ expectations, to the true self of God’s unfolding intention. Her wise, inspiring book helps those in doubt and crisis recognize the opportunity to “dismantle old masks and patterns and unfold a deeper, more authentic self.” When the Heart Waits, which first appeared in hardcover in 1990, has been embraced by thousands of spiritual seekers from many backgrounds and has become an enduring classic in Christian spirituality." ok, so yes, the book has intimate moments, and of course i liked the chrysalis metaphor - i mean, who can't relate to wanting to cocoon and emerge transformed into a beautiful creature - so many little gems, but at my heart, i was disappointed. as much as she touched on some very real pain, i also felt she danced around it. i knew i wasn't going to find answers here, but i was hoping to find deeper insight into the questions - and i really wanted more of her story. rather then repeatedly hearing about her pain, i wanted to ask, well, what was that pain? how did it feel? don't just tell me you had pain - tell me what that pain meant to you. another thing to mention is that somehow, in the reviews i read of this book, nowhere did it say anything about her Christian spirituality, and so, i was quite shocked when i started to realize this. i believe that we all have the right to believe in whatever we choose - i believe in my form of god - i do - but i found myself withdraw as i repeatedly read GOD, JESUS, BIBLE, CHRISTIAN - for reasons that i am just starting to understand, this stuff freaks me out. so maybe that's why i felt like i didn't get her heart - maybe it's the language that scared me - i found myself dialoguing about my feelings on religion and wondering why i was so resistant to even reading about JESUS. anyway, it was a thought provoking read, but i left this on the plane for someone else to discover.