yoga bitch by suzanne morrison

i picked this up, on a whim, at the airport before boarding one of three flights i was taking to italy. embarrassed, a little, because i haven't read anything so girly in quite a long time - this past year has been all about yoga, and yoga and yoga - much heavier, grown up, serious reading - so this was my popcorn. and it was a great book. well-written, funny, a little cliche in some parts - but it met my expectations and i was glad to have this book as company. "When Suzanne Morrison decides to travel to Bali for a two-month yoga retreat, she wants nothing more than to be transformed from a twenty-five year-old with a crippling fear of death into her enchanting yoga teacher, Indra - a woman who seems to have found it all: love, self, and God. But things don't go quite as expected. Once in Bali, she finds that her beloved yoga teacher and all of her yogamates wake up every morning to drink a large, steaming mug...of their own urine. Sugar is a mortal sin. Spirits inhabit kitchen appliances. And the more she tries to find her higher self, the more she faces her cynical, egomaniacal, cigarette-, wine-, and chocolate-craving lower self." it's funny. chicklit at it's best.

when the heart waits by sue monk kidd

so, for the past several months i feel as i have been dancing around myself, and some big questions keep arising - more than why are we here, what is our purpose - they go deeper then that. i was reading an article on elephant journal and came across a quote from sue monk kidd's book, when the heart waits: spiritual direction for life's sacred questions, and i ordered the book as soon as i could. finally, i thought, someone else had experienced something in the realm of what i feel i am going through - a crisis of spirit. here is the description of the book: "Blending her own experiences with an intimate grasp of contemplative spirituality, Sue Monk Kidd relates the passionate and moving tale of her spiritual crisis at midlife, when life seemed to have lost meaning and how her longing for hasty escape from the pain yielded to a discipline of “active waiting.” Comparing her experience to the formative processes inside a chrysalis on a wintry tree branch, Kidd reflects on the fact that the soul is often symbolized as a butterfly. The simple cocoon, a living parable of waiting, becomes an icon of hope for the transformation that the author sought. Kidd charts her re-ascent from the depths and offers a new understanding of the passage away from the false self, which is based upon others’ expectations, to the true self of God’s unfolding intention. Her wise, inspiring book helps those in doubt and crisis recognize the opportunity to “dismantle old masks and patterns and unfold a deeper, more authentic self.” When the Heart Waits, which first appeared in hardcover in 1990, has been embraced by thousands of spiritual seekers from many backgrounds and has become an enduring classic in Christian spirituality." ok, so yes, the book has intimate moments, and of course i liked the chrysalis metaphor - i mean, who can't relate to wanting to cocoon and emerge transformed into a beautiful creature - so many little gems, but at my heart, i was disappointed. as much as she touched on some very real pain, i also felt she danced around it. i knew i wasn't going to find answers here, but i was hoping to find deeper insight into the questions - and i really wanted more of her story. rather then repeatedly hearing about her pain, i wanted to ask, well, what was that pain? how did it feel? don't just tell me you had pain - tell me what that pain meant to you. another thing to mention is that somehow, in the reviews i read of this book, nowhere did it say anything about her Christian spirituality, and so, i was quite shocked when i started to realize this. i believe that we all have the right to believe in whatever we choose - i believe in my form of god - i do - but i found myself withdraw as i repeatedly read GOD, JESUS, BIBLE, CHRISTIAN - for reasons that i am just starting to understand, this stuff freaks me out. so maybe that's why i felt like i didn't get her heart - maybe it's the language that scared me - i found myself dialoguing about my feelings on religion and wondering why i was so resistant to even reading about JESUS. anyway, it was a thought provoking read, but i left this on the plane for someone else to discover.

A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore

I've tried to read Moore before (that rhymes) and had felt her writing to be quite dark, if I remember correctly. This book, however, was a smooth read - some dark, yes, but not so much that it feels overshadowed. Her writing is brilliant, and quite obscure.

"Tassie Keltjin, the daughter of a gentleman farmer, has come to a university town as a student. When at twenty she takes a job as a part-time nanny for a glamorous and mysterious family, she finds herself drawn deeper into their world and forever changed."

Rich, layered, her descriptions quite colorful and odd - I loved this book, and I only wish she had gone deeper into the characters. What seemed like unimportant persons in the book turned out to be integral to the main character. And the ending, too quick. I definitely recommend this read.

the lace reader by brunonia barry

This is another book that you gifted to me, and in the end, I loved it.
The first few pages had me wondering if it was a little hokey, but Barry is an extremely talented writer, and I was eager to open the pages and fall into the story each and every evening.

"Brunonia Barry dreamt she saw a prophecy in a piece of lace, a vision so potent she spun it into a novel. The Lace Reader retains the strange magic of a vivid dream, though Barry's portrayal of modern-day Salem, Massachusetts--with its fascinating cast of eccentrics--is reportedly spot-on. Some of its stranger residents include generations of Whitney women, with a gift for seeing the future in the lace they make. Towner Whitney, back to Salem from self-imposed exile on the West Coast, has plans for recuperation that evaporate with her great-aunt Eva's mysterious drowning. Fighting fear from a traumatic adolescence she can barely remember, Towner digs in for answers. But questions compound with the disappearance of a young woman under the thrall of a local fire-and-brimstone preacher, whose history of violence against Whitney women makes the situation personal for Towner. Her role in cop John Rafferty's investigation sparks a tentative romance. And as they scramble to avert disaster, the past that had slipped through the gaps in Towner's memory explodes into the present with a violence that capsizes her concept of truth. Readers will look back at the story in a new light, picking out the clues in this complex, lovely piece of work."

This describes it to a tee. What seems a simple story, upon reflection at the end, turns out to be quite complex. I treasured each moment with this book.

the memory palace by mira bartok

a heart wrenching, well written memoir by mira bartok, and the story of her schizophrenic and homeless mother. bartok and her sister spent seventeen years hoping that their mother would never find them - her schizophrenia caused her to obsess over both of her daughters lives - calling them fifty times a day or more, appearing unannounced at their jobs and homes, threatening them if they suggested that she get treatment for her illness and violently attacking them.

at age forty, a car accident left bartok with a debilitating brain injury - she retrained herself to draw and write, but her memories were lost to her. when she learns that her mother has terminal cancer, her sister and her decide to visit their mother before it's too late - bartok begins to connect with memories she fears were lost for good.

haunting, tragic, and deeply moving.

It has been a while since I read anything of note. I keep starting things and stopping. And I am still reading Anna Karenina which is wonderful but I read it in pieces. Demonglass is a YA read. I try to keep up with some things for that age. It was okay. Last Night at the Lobster was interesting. O'Nan is a very good writer. This is a story that takes place over the span of one night. The manager of a Red Lobster on the last night before it closes is trying to get through the last shift with a snowstorm, an ex, and a staff that is mostly going to be unemployed the next day. I feel indifferent about it. Boneshaker was a lot of fun. Sort of a steampunk zombie story. Seattle has been overtaken by a yellow fog that turns people into zombies. The survivors of the initial fog have walled off the city to keep everything in. A young mother goes in after her son and adventure ensues. Highly entertaining but not life changing. I really need to buckle down and read something great.

mourning diary by roland barthes

it has been some time since i've posted and it's been some time since i've finished a book. and so, finally, i finished reading mourning diary by roland barthes last night.

the day after his mother died, in october 1977, he began a diary of mourning. for nearly two years, he took notes on index cards and reflected on his loss.

they are a unique study of grief...snippets of thoughts and feelings, intimate, and sad.

The Bhagavad Gita translated by Eknath Easwaran

"The Bhagavad Gita, "The Song of the Lord", is the best known of all the Indian scriptures, and Eknath Easwaran's reliable, readable version has consistently been the best-selling translation.

Easwaran's introduction places the Gita in it's historical setting and brings out the universality and timelessness of its teachings. Chapter introductions give clear explanations of key concepts, and notes and a glossary explain Sanskrit terms.

The Bhagavad Gita opens, dramatically, on a battlefield, as the warrior Arjuna turns in anguish to his spiritual guide, Sri Krishna, for answers to the fundamental questions of life.

But, as Easwaran points out, the Gita is not what it seems - it's not a dialogue between two mythical figures at the dawn of Indian history. "The battlefield is a perfect backdrop, but the Gita's subject is the war within, the struggle for self-mastery that every human being must wage" to live a life that is meaningful, fulfilling and worthwhile."

I loved it, and found it very easy to read - Easwaran sets up each chapter, giving you a clear sense of what is happening, and the meaning behind the words. It's beautiful, and inspiring. I highly recommend it.

A Path with Heart: Jack Kornfield

"Perhaps the most important book yet written on meditation, the process of inner transformation, and the integration of spiritual practice into our American way of life. A Path with Heart brings alive one by one the challenges of spiritual living in the modern world. Written by a teacher, psychologist, and meditation master of international renown, this warm, inspiring, and expert book touches on a wide range of essential issues including many rarely addressed in spiritual books. From compassion, addiction, and psychological and emotional healing, to dealing with problems involving relationships and sexuality, to the creation of a Zen-like simplicity and balance in all facets of life, it speaks to the concerns of many modern spiritual seekers, both those beginning on the path and those with years of experience."

It's a beautiful, beautiful book. Take your time to read it, and perhaps use the guided meditations - Kornfield writes with his heart, and many times during this book, I felt my heart connect.

yoga for a world out of balance: michael stone

The description:
Every aspect of our life has a part to play in the greater ecological system, Michael Stone explains in this book. How do we bring this large view to our yoga practice? According to Stone, our responsibility as human beings is to live in a sustainable and respectful way. He says two things need to change. First, we need to understand the relationship between our actions and the effects of our actions. Second, once we see the effect of our actions in the human and non-human world, we need practical skills for learning how to make changes.

Using the five principles (yama) described in the Yoga-Sutra attributed to Patanjali, Michael Stone offers a basis for rethinking ethical action and the spiritual path.

My thoughts: I wish I could review this clearly and precisely. My head is too full with the book I am currently reading to go back. Michael Stone is a fantastic author, and if yoga and connecting and relating it to the outside world and environment around you is something that is of interest to you, taking yoga off your mat, then this is a good read.

I have been reading quite a lot of the Lonely Planet Guide to Miami and the Keys because I am going there this week for a week! My cousin Brad and also my Uncle Tom and Aunt Barbara live in Southern Florida and Brad has been trying to get me to come visit for awhile now. I wonder if he was surprised when I finally accepted. I have already planned out a million things I want to do. Too many probably. But even though I wanted to go just to be warm and in the sun, there is so much to do there. I have never been to Miami, or the Keys, or the everglades (except when I was really young I think). I have already made reservations for a canoe trip in the 10,000 island area. And there is snorkeling (not in the everglades) in the Keys and in Biscayne National Park and great restaurants and clubs in Miami and great beaches everywhere. All winter I have been so sick, weak all the time and in pain and going to physical therapy to try to rebuild what some mysterious virus sucked out of me. I can hardly wait to be warm and lazy and adventurous, all things that have been lacking this winter. I also hope to finish more books. I have been going back and forth between three rather long and intense books and it would be nice to finish them up and move on to other things. So here's hoping lazy beach reading will take care of that.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I read this because my sister sent it to me years ago and then Kristina decided to read it for the YA book club. It is a really touching story of boy who doesn't fit in, who doesn't really play an active role in his own life. Then he meets two people who help him open up his world. He never seems quite right or normal. You learn two things later on: that he is exceptionally intelligent, that he was sexually molested by his favorite aunt when he was a small boy, and that he blames himself for her death. The book is written all in letters - a one-way correspondence with a person who is never revealed. Only halfway through the book did I realize that he was actually mailing the letters to this person and never revealed himself or his address to this person. Parts of the book are heartbreaking, some heartwarming, some insights into the depth and sensitivity that come with being a wallflower. This is something I could have related to when I was in high school. Even though I always had friends, I never felt like I really fit in. And I became quite a good observer, listener, and empath. This made me special but also made me walk the line between taking up space in my own life versus only existing within a limited version of what everyone around me needed. I still struggle with this to this day. I liked this book because I understood it and related to it.

I know you wrote that you loved this book, I did not. It fell so far short of my expectations. It is of course beautifully written. She is a graceful and fairly descriptive writer. But this was called a memoir of a friendship and i saw very little of that in the book. It was all about her, a little bit about their friendship, and almost not at all about Caroline Knapp. I barely got a sense of their friendship apart from their walking their dogs and rowing. And I could not get over how self-absorbed the author was. Wow, I was really disappointed. I wanted to love this book, I wanted to cry, I wanted to rail against the universe for the loss and grief that people so intimately connected endure when they lose each other. But I wasn't allowed to care. I found myself wishing badly to know what Caroline was like. I think I would have liked her. But I do not think I would like Gail. Elizabeth Berg wrote a much more devastating, honest, complex story of a friendship and a death in her NOVEL Talk Before Sleep. Now that was a heartbreaker.

Ok, it may seem as though I am avoiding Anna Karenina. I'm not, it's just that I started so many books in January that I am trying to finish a few in between reading AK. This was a beautiful slim book by Amos Oz, who is probably the best known novelist in Israel. Called Rhyming Life & Death, it is the first thing I have ever read by Oz. I honestly picked it because of the look and the feel of the book. I do this every once in awhile. I roam the stacks and I pull out book by book to read the backs and explore. This novella takes place during the span of one night. The narrator is referred to as the "author." The author is in Tel Aviv for a reading at a local community center. He arrives early and goes to a nearby cafe to pass the time. He is not looking forward to the evening, the same questions he is asked over and over again i.e. why do your write, do you write with pen or computer, do you draw from imagination more than real life, how much do you earn, how do you handle criticism, etc. As he sits in the cafe he starts making up stories about some of the people in the cafe, the waitress, the two men sitting at a nearby table. He goes to the reading and continues to do this, makes up stories about the man who introduces him, the woman who reads his work, the heckler, the young hopeful poet, etc. The rest of the night switches between his reality and the made up realities of the characters. It is beautifully written but the stories he makes up are almost all ugly, almost brutal in their telling - this man is in the hospital with a catheter no one empties, this man lives with his mom and has to change her sheets, this woman lives trapped in the memory of an affair she had twenty years ago, etc. But there are a few passage that are so beautiful they take your breath away. It is a mix of ugly and beautiful, pure and profane. It is indeed a rhyming of life and death. I really took a lot away from it. And am definitely going to read more by this author.

I read this book in two nights. Sort of a break from Anna Karenina even though I am really enjoying it. I loved it. The premise is: a boy in high school receives a package on his doorstep from a girl who committed suicide two weeks before. She says that there are 13 reasons why she killed herself and that each person who receives the tapes is one of those reasons. In listening to the tapes he hears her story. And he takes his walkman and a map she provides and walks around his town one night with her narration of her experience as a backdrop. It was sad and honest and I really liked it. I think it is an important book for high school kids to read. Because it really demonstrates the impact you can have on someone without even realizing it. Especially in high school at that age when everything feels bigger and harder and more lonely because you don't have the skills yet to negotiate everything that can be thrown at you. Also it is important that the book shows that there was a point where she could have reached out for help but in the end she chose not to and she knew she was choosing not to. So it was of course in the end a choice she did not have to make.

beginning of book review

so, after a month of beginning books and not finishing them, i have rested upon reading Anna Karenina with my friend Jamie. I have only read 56 pages but so far i am more interested in the writing deviation of tolstoy than the actual plot itself. I never read War and Peace or the Demons or the Ivan Il... something or other book. the only other thing i ever read was notes from underground which was a heady character study of a man who feels so ignored by the world that a stranger bumping into him and not saying excuse me sends him into a spiral that leads him to plot the man's death. so sitting down to a novel of society and propriety and general austen-like depictions of the social lives of a group of russian elites is just weird to me. kinda like a tolstoyan version of Emma. but it is extremely well-written and is starting to pull me in. i am hoping the context of the setting will also teach me a bit about russian society during that time. which is something about which i know nothing.